THE BAND-AID BANDIT – 4*

At about 10 o’clock that night, this freaking short petite five foot two blond with green eyes gets out of her sports car. The car that was soon-to-be The Bandit’s ride! Heather goes home then and – LISA walks in…
W O W! I kicked it with Lisa all night long. She was probably the coolest chick I have ever met! She wouldn’t let me smoke my Bugler, she kept giving me Marlboro Reds all night long. She said that smoking Bugler was bad for your health. Night after night we kicked it and we soon got to be very close. After a time we became more than just close we became best friends and then we became intimate friends! We could talk about anything at all with one another – no embarrassment.
Lisa started spoiling me and doing things for me like letting me use her car, even during the day. I would drop her off at her place in Aurora and use the car all day long to do my thing. I would pick her up in the morning at 10 a.m. and take her to work every night.
She had a badass 1999 Pontiac Firebird Formula 5 speed tuned port injection 350 LS – 2 Corvette engine. Ooh, baby! The Band-Aid Bandit was in love with that car it was in showroom condition like new aqua blue two-tone formula package – so quick, so badass!
The Bandit knew that Firebird was going to be his car one day even if he had to give Lisa is left nut for the down payment. Lisa knew the Bandit loved that car too. She looked at the Bandit as if she were looking at a little boy with his favorite toy!!
Weeks went by and then I was transferred to another MHCD halfway house called Lincoln House which was located off of 52nd and Washington.
In the beginning, the place totally sucked. There was only one woman there and the rest were male inmates. After I got my A & D checks I went down and bought myself a used Gibson Les Paul Standard guitar, and a practice amp and then suddenly my life got better!
I slowly started attaining things like a big color TV, a VCR, a DVD player, a killer stereo and entertainment center. I kept it all in my tiny single room with a full bathroom.
I got to know Debbie who ran the house, pretty well. She was in her early fifties! She started flirting with me all the time betting me shit and giving me money. It was only obvious what she wanted!
The man that ran Lincoln House was shady though! He asked me to take pictures of one of his graveyard shift employees sleeping on the job. He literally gave me a cell phone with a camera to do the dirty deed for him and somehow I felt obligated to do it. I felt like he would kick me out of the halfway house and onto the streets but I didn’t take the bait.
The next day I called my case manager and told him what was going on and he was able to get me transferred back to Park Place 🙂
I swear it’s like heaven there with wall-to-wall pussy! And Lisa?- And my Firebird Formula? Yeah. A couple of weeks into Park Place and I was jamming on a kiss CD when someone knocked at my door and told me that I had a phone call. I went to the phone and picked up and to my surprise it was Lisa. She told me, “Don’t say my name!” because she didn’t want to get busted fraternizing with a client. She asked me if I wanted to go catch a movie and it was Saw 5! Cool! Of course, I said yes…
That’s when the Bandit and Lisa first became Bonnie and Clyde /Lisa and Rick!
I found out that she had a severe back injury and had undergone 4 botched back surgeries. In her purse was a bag full of a pill freak’s dream! She had Oxycontin, Morphine, Adderall, Xanax, Soma and Fentanyl patches as well as stimulant enter mean!
The Bandit’s dreams just went from big to freaking huge!
I had that badass pussy, the badass Firebird formula, and my very own Pharmacy. Lisa and I just got closer. We fucked every chance we could, we shot coke, smoked meth, oh man! It was like living the dream within the dream!
And, the whole time, I was doing it right under the eyes of my parole officer and the eyes of MHCD and nobody knew that Lisa and I were together because we were so secretive about the affair. That is we were until one night a sex offender heard us fucking in my room and he ratted us out to Christine, the woman who ran Park Place.
There was a huge investigation over the shit because it’s a felony for an employee psychologist like Lisa to have a sexual relationship with a client.
Lisa and I had so many friends there that lied and covered our asses that we actually beat the investigation! The problem was that Lisa and I had so much hot lust for each other because we knew that we were falling in love. We just could not stop seeing one other or keep our hands to ourselves. A lot of the other clients and patients knew what was going on between Lisa and me, but they all loved us and they constantly covered our asses for us.
I would leave on Friday afternoons for weekend visits that lasted until Sunday evening and I would tell MHCD that I was staying at my buddy Jason’s place in Federal Heights. Really I would be staying in Aurora with Lisa. She had a nice house and she shared the rent with her brother and sister-in-law, her mother Debbie, and Lisa’s beautiful daughter.
They all loved me immediately they loved me and took me in as a member of their family. Including their wonderful black lab, Polo, my new best friend.
AND THE BANDIT’S CAREER BECOMES AMPLIFIED!NEW BROTHER-IN-LAW DOPE-HEAD, LISA’S PHARMACY! AND I STARTED GOING TO LISA’S PAIN DR! FOR Morphine, Methadone, Dilaudid, Klonopin!!! :c) Quack doctor!!!
END OF PART ONE

The Bandit moves in with Lisa and her family at her house in Aurora only to find out that her entire family is fully dysfunctional! Her brother whom I’ll call, “Jimmy” was a fueled drug addict psychopath who had absolutely no empathy towards other human beings. He would literally go to any extent necessary in order to get his daily dosages of drugs. It didn’t matter what kind of drugs either, any type of drugs would do!
Lisa’s mother, whom I’ll call Dorothy was nothing like her son, Jimmy. No, Dorothy was a raving mad lunatic with a severe borderline personality disorder.
Lisa’s daughter, on the other hand, is literally a genius who was in a special school for kids who are extremely above-average in intelligence, and she was a very well-mannered young 12-year-old girl and like her mother, she is very beautiful. How she lives with all the insanity in that house though is something that I will never understand. Jimmy’s girlfriend Jess worked all the time holding down two jobs and most of what she brings home goes to support Jimmy’s network of lies so he can get his daily dose of drugs. Some of his favorites were Oxycodone, Percocet, cocaine, Morphine, Hydrocodone, Vicodin, and of course marijuana.
He will go to the other end of the universe to get them if that’s what it takes. And I did mention the family dog, Polo? He was a black lab and tremendously intelligent. The Bandit hit it off with Polo immediately! Polo belonged to, Donna, Lisa’s daughter. Within three or four weeks of the bandits moving in with Lisa, the dog only wanted to be around the Bandit and he especially loved to sleep with the Bandit.
I think that it is important to mention here that Lisa’s mother, Dorothy, had a 15 million-dollar lawsuit pending in civil court against a hospital in Aurora. She was suing the hospital for the wrongful death of her husband who was misdiagnosed in the emergency room and 20 minutes after leaving there he died of a massive heart attack. The last I heard, she was winning the lawsuit! Oasis Financial, a money lender, was giving Dorothy $10-$20,000 against the lawsuit anytime she asked them for it so I believe that says it all right there. Case won.
Dorothy said on many occasions that she was going to give the Bandit $1,000,000 when the lawsuit was finalized. This, of course, made the Bandit very happy but it wasn’t doing the Bandit any good at the present time. So the Bandit after 20 calendar years of incarceration had to set off in ways to get money because nothing in life is free. Especially not the Bandit’s love for cigarettes, German beer, and petrol to feed Lisa and Dorothy’s cars with so he could move around.
It all started off small. First, the Bandit started checking out a number of businesses and department stores and looking at the security systems in this new age of technology and security cameras. It took no time at all for the Bandit to figure out how to beat the mall security, Home Depot, Lowe’s, Walmarts, or any other stores’ security cameras.
The first hit that got him started was the Craftsman tool department at Sears by cutting the cords holding the air tools. The first one I got them for was a very expensive 3/4 inch air impact wrench that had a price tag on it of $635. Even though the Bandit only got $150 for at the local pawn shop, it was still free money and he grinned like an ape all the way to the convenience store to pump petrol into Lisa’s brand new Formula Firebird. After that, he got cigarettes and headed to the liquor store to get his favorite German beer and a bottle of tequila.
He headed back to the house with a smile and when he got home he told Lisa and Dorothy all about his new means of getting money to get by. The Bandit was bold and brazen. He bragged that no security could stop him only to get busted for a misdemeanor. To make matters worse it was only a few months later and for a charge of shoplifting at that same Sears store where it all began! So then the Bandit started hitting Sears, Home Depot, and Lowe’s stealing high-dollar tools and pawning them at his four favorite pawn shops. I got away clean with multiple items each time and I was never seen coming home less than $300 a day in my pocket! The Bandit was getting very confident in his skills. He used to say, “How many people make $300 a day for a few hours of work each week?”
The Bandit refused to pay hard-earned or should I say easily earned cash with his money he devised a new plan to fill that problem.
The answer was to steal $100 to $200 dollars worth of merchandise from Walmart, Kmart, or any other stores that sold tobacco products and then go back and return the merchandise for gift cards only to go down the tobacco aisle and use the gift cards to purchase cartons of cigarettes to feed his and Lisa’s daily cigarette habit, even the grocery store cameras could not stop the Bandit. He moved like a shadow swift and quieter than a lion going in for a kill.
The Bandit then decided that it was time to start mining the grocery stores! Meat and anything he desired was his for the taking. Hygiene, the best and most expensive, and I took anything else that wasn’t bolted to the floors as well.
Meat? I took only the best cuts. Ribeyes, filet mignon, and Porter House steaks were his not only to eat but to sell. A little project which brought his weekly paycheck to near $3,000!
Yes indeed! The Bandit had moved up in the world, and done it very quickly! The Bandit could not pass up any kind of a good challenge ever!!! Spending money was being spent on bills, Etc at a rate that the Bandit simply could not keep up with. Especially with gasoline at $4.50 a gallon and smokes at $5.50 a pack. Living with those two women were running the Bandit down, straight into the ground.
Then it happened, what painted a picture with a smile ended up being the Reckoning of the Bandit and Lisa’s life and everybody near him.
It went like this –
The Bandit accidentally knocked Lisa’s purse off of the table one fine day and a bag fell out of the purse. The bag was open and at least eight prescription bottles spilled out of the purse and all of them were narcotics! The Bandit asked Lisa. “Why have you been holding out on me?” as he looked at a 100 mg bottle of morphine and a bottle of Oxycontin. She said it was because she needed all of them.
The Bandit looked at all the rest of the bottles in this order, Morphine, Oxycontin, Methadone, Fentanyl patches 100 milligrams, Adderall, Xanax, and Phentermine. The Bandit was pissed. All this time he was busting his ass for chump change when he could have sold some of that shit she was carrying all over the place for mad cash. For instance, 80 mg oxycontin sells for $70 bucks apiece and she was getting 120 of them a month! Morphine 100 mg went for $60 bucks a piece and she got 120 of them a month as well. 2mg Xanax was going for $5 apiece.
The Bandit was pissed. Now he knew why Lisa always took her purse to the bathroom with her. He thought that she felt like he would rip her off for her money only to find out that she had a very serious addiction to hard corps narcotics. Lisa pacified the Bandit and steered him away from his anger by offering him an 80 mg Oxycontin to crush up and snort because the Bandit loved that great chill and that itchy happy feeling. Soon though the Bandit would come to love it just as much as he had loved shooting his cocaine in the past.
Soon Lisa was sharing all her pills with the Bandit, With the exception of her Adderall. She went into screaming blue psychotic fits at the very thought that she should be sharing those particular pills.
Assume the monthly run to Lisa’s pain doctor was a day of Celebration and smiles. Everybody, even her mother was happy because Dorothy was an addict pill junkie too! As a matter of fact, the Bandit found out she had a monthly script for Percocet and Xanax 🙂 Lisa’s brother Jimmy? A monthly script for Percocet and Restoril although Jimmy would go through all of his pills in a matter of days. Then he did all he could to steal nice and Dorothy Stills. His girlfriend, the sociopath, was a pissy slash meth head so everybody in the house was a drug addict except for Lisa’s daughter Donna. The poor girl knew everybody in the house was fucked up on something except for her all the time. Soon Jimmy’s girlfriend wanted for herself and Jimmy to move out and so they did and Lisa and the Bandit took over the entire basement and finally could now have the Privacy they always wanted.
Lisa finally got a part-time job as a school teacher. Don’t know if I mentioned Lisa had a bachelor’s degree but with her fuel drug addiction, she never pressed too hard to find a job. As a matter of fact, if she had it her way she would sleep until 2 in the afternoon. But not the Bandit, he was always up at seven or eight ready to roll and figure out new ways to make money. While Lisa was at work all day, her brother Jimmy and the Bandit started to become friends. And why not? They were both Psychopaths.
Soon Jimmy was bringing over cocaine all the time. Jimmy would smoke it but the Bandit would make a bunch of trips to the bathroom to shoot it up. Something that he did not want Jimmy to know about at that time.
Soon thereafter, Lisa was suspicious of the Bandit and his behavior. The two of them began to argue and fight a lot and for months this went on. Finally, the truth came out when the Bandit’s parole officer came down into the basement one night and called the Bandit out and said to the Bandit, why don’t you tell me about this dirty cocaine UA?
The Bandit thought he had it beat thinking that the UA was taken 5 and 1/2 days after his last UA. The Bandit, as usual, came up with a great reason that he told his PO with his witty smile. His PO said she was not going to violate his parole but he was going to have to take a six-week drug class at the parole office. One which he never took. The Bandit could manipulate and talk his way out of anything!
And he did!!
As time went by the pills were running out earlier and earlier every month so Lisa’s suggested that the Bandit go to his clinic and ask for morphine from his doctor because Bandit had a previous back injury.
So the Bandit’s doc sent him to get an MRI and not only did the injury how up, but it had gotten worse over time. Calcium buildup had ruptured a disc as well. So not only did the Bandits doctor put him on morphine I. R. 30 mg four times a day, but his doctor also put him on hydromorphone Dilaudid number 4 four times a day. He also put the Bandit on 50 mcg fentanyl patches for breakthrough pain.
This was a day of celebration for the Bandit and Lisa so much so that Lisa said to the Bandit, “Remember when you told me you used to shoot drugs with a needle? I want to try it.”
The Bandit immediately said no! The Bandit had strict morals and codes about never getting people started on the needle and the spoon.
Lisa started yelling at the Bandit intensely then as she starting to calm down she said, “If you’ll shoot me up I’ll let you fuck me in the ass!” She was an anal virgin and the Bandit had been after her for some time on that issue. So he grinned, got some syringes he had hidden away, and said, “Okay let’s do this!”
This was a double win for the Bandit because not only would he not have to hide his needle use anymore, he was about to fuck pretty little Lisa’s virgin ass!!! 🙂 (Eat Your Heart Out, Charlie…)
The rapid use of the pills intravenously was running the scripts out faster and faster every month until all those scripts were running out about every nine days. Then it got down to 5 days’ time, and yes all in 5 days. Leaving the Bandit and Lisa opiate sick for the rest of the month.
Soon the Bandit and Lisa became seekers in the emergency rooms all around the state. Always knowing what to say and always getting what they went to the ER to get.
The Bandit used to wonder, have we been blessed by God to get away with what we do in the ERs? Only to find out that it was all a clever ploy from El Diablo to take a major part of the Bandit’s life away and take away Lisa’s life entirely.